One New Life
One New Life
SEVENTH IN BEGINS WITH ONE SERIES
November 3rd, 2024, will mark twenty years since I took the One Step of Faith to tell my wife my darkest secrets. It was the day I surrendered everything I could control and chose to believe Jesus was my Lord, greater than the One Fear that defined my life.
The One Step has led to a One New Life.
My secrets no longer controlled my life. The shame of hiding the One Lie I believed defined my identity, but I was exposed to the truth that God’s grace was greater than anything I had done.
In the moment of faith to fully surrender, I had no idea what would be in store for me. All I wanted was to be free and the best husband and father for my family.
Christi and I spent two years in counseling to work on healing our marriage. The turning point came when I learned empathy. Putting myself in someone else’s shoes changed how I saw Christi’s hurt. I had a new understanding of the pain people in my life were experiencing. My heart was changing from protecting myself to helping others.
When you make the One Decision to surrender to Jesus fully and put faith into making the One Step, you open yourself to placing other people before you. Your love is no longer selfish, filling only your needs, but wanting to help the needs of others.
God will do things contrary to your previous decisions. Many of those decisions can change more lives than just your own.
As I approached the second anniversary of the One Step, a desire to share my story began to grow within me. Putting it into perspective, I am an introvert, and God wanted to move me out of my comfort zone to help others. Sharing anything about myself, let alone my darkest secrets, felt irrational.
My story was shared with our small group at church, which averaged twelve people on a Sunday. The day I shared my story, there were over thirty people in the room! Life was changed that day, but it was not fully known until the following year, when God created a new desire to share the bad and the good of my story with our entire church. In June 2007, Christi and I trusted that God was leading us to share our story. The secret was now out to the world. I could no longer control my identity; I had to trust in my identity in Jesus.
At the end of the service, we offered our phone numbers and emails to anyone who needed assistance. Neither one of us claimed to be an expert, but we understood the struggle of walking alongside someone who wishes to be free.
Walking down from the stage was one of the most significant defining moments of my life. My mom and dad were in attendance. My dad walked up with tears in his eyes and said, “I am proud of you!” and he hugged me. I cherish this memory even more after his passing last month.
The following day, Christi and I both received multiple messages from people asking for help. I was already on a work trip when the messages arrived. I called Christi to share the news, and she told me about the messages she received. The call ended with me telling her, “I guess God has something new planned for our lives.” A few months later, Changing Lanes(CL) was unofficially born when I met with men in a counseling office’s break room on Sunday afternoons.
The One Step to change my life did not end with just One New Life changed. Almost two hundred men have graduated from our CL Men program. Hundreds of students heard the message of hope that defines them through their identity in Jesus. Hundreds of parents gained wisdom from our parent forums, helping them create a safe environment for their children and preventing them from being defined by the One Lie.
The One Lie defined my old life. My new life is defined by the One Truth—that Jesus Christ is the only Savior. He is the only one who can free us from our sins. Jesus is not a myth; his power to free you is greater than your shame.
One New life never ends with one. Your decision will change your family, friends, work, church, and community.
Freedom may seem impossible, and the fear of change can be a deterrent to taking the step of faith, but the truth will transform your life. Take the One Step to One New Life.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Contact us at info@changinglanes.org to discover how your life can be changed.
November 3rd, 2024, will mark twenty years since I took the One Step of Faith to tell my wife my darkest secrets. It was the day I surrendered everything I could control and chose to believe Jesus was my Lord, greater than the One Fear that defined my life.
The One Step has led to a One New Life.
My secrets no longer controlled my life. The shame of hiding the One Lie I believed defined my identity, but I was exposed to the truth that God’s grace was greater than anything I had done.
In the moment of faith to fully surrender, I had no idea what would be in store for me. All I wanted was to be free and the best husband and father for my family.
Christi and I spent two years in counseling to work on healing our marriage. The turning point came when I learned empathy. Putting myself in someone else’s shoes changed how I saw Christi’s hurt. I had a new understanding of the pain people in my life were experiencing. My heart was changing from protecting myself to helping others.
When you make the One Decision to surrender to Jesus fully and put faith into making the One Step, you open yourself to placing other people before you. Your love is no longer selfish, filling only your needs, but wanting to help the needs of others.
God will do things contrary to your previous decisions. Many of those decisions can change more lives than just your own.
As I approached the second anniversary of the One Step, a desire to share my story began to grow within me. Putting it into perspective, I am an introvert, and God wanted to move me out of my comfort zone to help others. Sharing anything about myself, let alone my darkest secrets, felt irrational.
My story was shared with our small group at church, which averaged twelve people on a Sunday. The day I shared my story, there were over thirty people in the room! Life was changed that day, but it was not fully known until the following year, when God created a new desire to share the bad and the good of my story with our entire church. In June 2007, Christi and I trusted that God was leading us to share our story. The secret was now out to the world. I could no longer control my identity; I had to trust in my identity in Jesus.
At the end of the service, we offered our phone numbers and emails to anyone who needed assistance. Neither one of us claimed to be an expert, but we understood the struggle of walking alongside someone who wishes to be free.
Walking down from the stage was one of the most significant defining moments of my life. My mom and dad were in attendance. My dad walked up with tears in his eyes and said, “I am proud of you!” and he hugged me. I cherish this memory even more after his passing last month.
The following day, Christi and I both received multiple messages from people asking for help. I was already on a work trip when the messages arrived. I called Christi to share the news, and she told me about the messages she received. The call ended with me telling her, “I guess God has something new planned for our lives.” A few months later, Changing Lanes(CL) was unofficially born when I met with men in a counseling office’s break room on Sunday afternoons.
The One Step to change my life did not end with just One New Life changed. Almost two hundred men have graduated from our CL Men program. Hundreds of students heard the message of hope that defines them through their identity in Jesus. Hundreds of parents gained wisdom from our parent forums, helping them create a safe environment for their children and preventing them from being defined by the One Lie.
The One Lie defined my old life. My new life is defined by the One Truth—that Jesus Christ is the only Savior. He is the only one who can free us from our sins. Jesus is not a myth; his power to free you is greater than your shame.
One New life never ends with one. Your decision will change your family, friends, work, church, and community.
Freedom may seem impossible, and the fear of change can be a deterrent to taking the step of faith, but the truth will transform your life. Take the One Step to One New Life.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Contact us at info@changinglanes.org to discover how your life can be changed.
Posted in Begins with One, One New Life, Change, Surrender, freedom, New Creation, Jesus, hope, One Lie, One Fear, One Step
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A Spiritual Green ThumbThankfulness in Times of TrialOne New LifeOne StepOne DecisionOne PossibilityOne FearOne LieOne DayFurther Up. Further In.When TImes Are Good, Don’t Lose GroundBlessings From The FatherWill shame stop exploitation?New Life in ChristNew Life: A Beautiful MessWhen It’s Hard To Do What You Said you would doConviction vs. ActionNot By SightFinding Identity In The Deep EndRefuge In The StormCan I Really Change? One Guaranteed Way Inside“I Made It” A Tribute To Terry TurnerOne Decision. One Choice.Free IndeedI never knew that something that merely peaked my curiosity at the age of twelve, would turn into years of relentless shame and secrecy. Over the course of four years pornography had consumed more of my life than I ever intended to give it. I vividly remember one of my most desperate prayers to God when I was sixteen. With knots twisting in my stomach, and tears uncontrollably running down my face I said, “God, I can’t do this anymore.” It was in that moment He replied, “Jessica, you don’t have to.” If you are reading this, I don’t know where you are in life or the magnitude of the struggles that you face. What I do know, is that there is such a thing as freedom. For me, it was freedom from more than a pornography addiction. Lust, deception, shame, guilt, comparison, rejection, abandonment, and condemnation have all reared their heads in the years that followed that night when I was sixteen. At times I found myself asking, “When will this ever end?” Somehow, I fell under the impression that the surrender of one thing meant that things in this new relationship with God would inevitably be effortless afterward. Not only was I wrong, but I am glad I was wrong. John 8:36 reads, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” To this day, it is a verse that has brought me the greatest joy, and I want to tell you why. Jesus starts out this verse by saying “if the Son sets you free.” I couldn’t keep up with the facade that everything was okay, and that I didn’t have an addiction. Freedom came in the moment I said that I couldn’t do it anymore. It wasn’t ever going to be found in my own ability, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful that I can never be too proud of my own strength and resistance to sin. On my own I will miserably fail. Then later in the verse comes my favorite part: “free indeed.” For only six letters, indeed is a powerful word. According to Strong’s concordance, some definitions include “really, truly,” and “actually.” In other words, Jesus was saying that this freedom is without question. It’s not a distant, unattainable fantasy. It’s an undeniable reality that only He can make possible. So where does this leave you now? It leaves you with a choice. Regardless of where you consider yourself to be in this life, Jesus is the only way to lasting freedom. The lies that tell you that this is how it always must be are exactly that – lies. There is a life beyond addiction. Ten years ago, I found myself at that crossroads where I had to decide if I wanted to keep living the way I was. Jesus wasn’t just as my crossroads, but on the road leading to it. I only had to recognize that He was there.
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