ONE POSSIBILITY
The One Day that has defined my life for over twenty-two years, creating the One Lie I believed was my real identity, drove me to protect against the One Fear of Shame.
Protecting against the fear of being found out was exhausting. The one thing I wanted to stop was the only thing I could find to comfort the fear. The cycle of addiction took me farther than I wanted to go in my life. It appeared it would cost me everything I cherished.
I wanted to believe I could be changed. Freedom was something I wanted, but peace felt like a dream.
I held on to my secrets, living an identity for everyone to see, but I knew that my true identity was the one I kept hidden. The real Brett was in that hidden 3%.
The idea of loving my wife and my two young children openly, without any secrets, was something I deeply desired. However, I wondered how it could ever happen, as my life experiences had led me to believe it was impossible.
God had other plans to show me there was One Possibility for my life to be different—not just different, but transformed.
But how could He?
I already go to church, attend a men’s small group, tithe, occasionally read my Bible, pray, am nice to others, and believe Jesus is Lord.
If I do all these things and I haven’t been changed already, how could God change me?
His plan was shown to me in a series of events over a few weeks.
The first event was when a member of the small group shared his struggle with pornography and how he took extreme actions to ensure He stayed away from it while traveling. This shocked me.
My immediate thoughts after hearing this guy share his struggle were, “You are crazy!” How could he think people would still be his friend, let alone respect him? Will other people see my lies after he shared his? How do I keep from being exposed?
This fear led my walls of protection to go even higher!
A few months after hearing this “craziness.” Our associate pastor had a rare occasion to preach on a Sunday. I don’t recall the message, but sitting with the congregation listening to his sermon, I was certain I was the source material for his message.
How did he know my struggles? I know he didn’t, but it felt as if he had been stalking me. The sermon cornered me into questioning everything I had done and then led me to consider the possibility that Jesus could forgive all of it.
I didn't realize at the time that, through this series of events, Jesus was answering my prayers.
Below are a few of the journal entries from my prayers three years before:
Lord, please forgive me for I have sinned. Break my heart and turn me from my sin for all of my days. Give me the strength to get help. - April 24th, 2001
Lord, please forgive me of my sins… I have fallen so far… Please help me before I destroy my life! –June 26th, 2001
Give me the strength and courage to admit my sins. I ask that you will find mercy on me when I do – July 31st, 2001
”He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the Lord.“ Psalms 40:3
Is Psalm 40:3 not just a nice saying? How could he change me without me first having to fix myself? How could He possibly love me despite all my filth? Might there be a chance that my life could really change?
Could this be the One Possibility that my life could be different?
It sounded too good to be true!
Yet, His plans were already unfolding to address the prayers I had written down in my journal. The mere possibility that His love could be enough to save me captured my full attention.
However, I wasn't transformed by this initial possibility of change. Finding the life I had always desired and believed impossible would require one more step.
It would take me to take one step of faith, One Decision, that would change and define my life.
The transformation of your life through Jesus is not just a possibility; it is a certainty. Interested in learning more about this certainty? Reach out to us, and let's explore the hope that this transformation can bring.
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