One NEW Life
November 3rd, 2024, will mark twenty years since I took the One Step of Faith to tell my wife my darkest secrets. It was the day I surrendered everything I could control and chose to believe Jesus was my Lord, greater than the One Fear that defined my life.
The One Step has led to a One New Life.
My secrets no longer controlled my life. The shame of hiding the One Lie I believed defined my identity, but I was exposed to the truth that God’s grace was greater than anything I had done.
In the moment of faith to fully surrender, I had no idea what would be in store for me. All I wanted was to be free and the best husband and father for my family.
Christi and I spent two years in counseling to work on healing our marriage. The turning point came when I learned empathy. Putting myself in someone else’s shoes changed how I saw Christi’s hurt. I had a new understanding of the pain people in my life were experiencing. My heart was changing from protecting myself to helping others.
When you make the One Decision to fully surrender to Jesus and put faith into making the One Step, you open yourself to place other people before you. Your love is no longer selfish, filling only your needs, but wanting to help the needs of others.
God will do things contrary to your previous decisions. Many of those decisions can change more lives than just your own.
I was getting within a month of the second anniversary of the One Step, and a desire started to grow within me to share my story. Putting it into perspective, I am an introvert, and God wanted to move me out of my comfort zone to help others. Sharing anything about myself, let alone my darkest secrets felt irrational.
My story was shared with our small group at church, which averaged twelve people on a Sunday. The day I shared my story, there were over thirty people in the room! Life was changed that day, but it was not fully known until the following year when God created a new desire to share the bad and the good of my story with our entire church. In June 2007, Christi and I trusted God was leading us to share our story. The secret was now out to the world. I could no longer control my identity; I had to trust in my identity in Jesus.
At the end of the service, we offered up our phone numbers and emails to anyone who wanted help. Neither one of us claimed to be an expert, but people who understood the struggle of walking alongside someone wishing to be free.
Walking down from the stage was one of the greatest defining moments of my life. My mom and dad were in attendance. My dad walked up with tears in his eyes and said, “I am proud of you!” and he hugged me. I cherish this memory even more after his passing last month.
The following day, Christi and I both received multiple messages from people asking for help. I was already on a work trip when the messages arrived. I called Christi to share the news, and she told me about the messages she received. The call ended with me telling her, “I guess God has something new planned for our lives.” A few months later, Changing Lanes(CL) was unofficially born when I met with men in a counseling office’s break room on Sunday afternoons.
The One Step to change my life did not end with only One New Life changed. Almost two hundred men have graduated from our CL Men program. Hundreds of students heard the message of hope to be defined by an identity in Jesus. Hundreds of parents gained wisdom from our parent forums, helping them be a safe place for their children and leading them not to be defined by the One Lie.
My old life was defined by the One Lie. My new life is defined by the One Truth—that Jesus Christ is the only Savior. He is the only one who can free us from our sins. Jesus is not a myth; his power to free you is greater than your shame.
One New life never ends with one. Your decision will change your family, friends, work, church, and community.
Freedom may seem impossible, and the fear of change is a deterrent to making the step of faith, but the truth will transform your life. Take the One Step to One New Life.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Contact us at info@changinglanes.org to discover how your life can be changed.